What is anger?
Anger is a normal and unavoidable feeling. When anger is controlled it can be harmless to you and everyone else around you. However, unchecked anger can have negative effects on your health:
- Increased anxiety
- Depression
- Increased chance of heart attack or stroke
- High blood pressure
There are many ways one can get angry and as a country, South Africa is very angry. There are many things that contribute to this:
- Unemployment
- Political conflict
- Social conflict
- Traffic congestion
- Divorce and families in crisis
- Financial insecurity
- Crime
- Injustice
- Addiction
- Time pressure
- Work overload/ exhaustion
- Poverty
- Increased stress levels
Reacting to anger (When they are angry at you):
When it comes to feeling angry, people love to react. There are three ways, one can react to anger in any given situation: Aggressively, Passively and Assertively.
The aggressive approach is when you want to get your own way at all costs. You blame, shout, demand, accuse, and humiliate. This is a bad approach because people will be too scared to associate themselves with you and you will become angrier.
The passive approach is when you do nothing but hope that you get your own way. You apologise, put yourself down, give in, and hesitate. This is bad because it makes you seem insecure, which allows other people to take control over you.
The passive approach is when you express yourself honestly with consideration for other people’s feelings. You say what you want, stand up for yourself, you respect the other person and you are confident. This is the best way to react when you are angry, because you remain in control, in a calm way. You are respecting the other person, which makes the situation calmer, avoiding anger blowouts.
What to do when you are angry:
When you are feeling angry, you must think of a traffic light/robot. There is a red light, an orange light and a green light. These lights represent the level of anger that you are feeling.
The red light means that you are extremely angry. When you are this angry, you should STOP what you are about to say or do!
The orange light means that you are frustrated or mildly angry. When you are at this stage, you must THINK AND CALM DOWN. There are many ways to calm down. It is one of the most important things to do when you are angry. To calm down, you need to get away from the stressful environment and focus on something that will take your mind off whatever is making you angry:
- Play sports
- Go for a walk
- Read a book
- Watch a movie
- Write in a diary
- Have a bubble bath
- Pull out weeds in the garden
- Draw
- Listen to your favourite song
- Anything that you love…
If walking away isn’t possible, a good way to calm down is to breathe deep breaths and count back from 20… more if you are very angry.
The green light means that you are calm. When you are calm, you can MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
So, remember, STOP, THINK AND CALM DOWN AND MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
“For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.”-Ralph Emerson
Joe-kers: For a Smile 